You were lost, it is time to be found.
Yes, we entered college, yet it just isn't what it was cracked up to be and it is really taking a toll on our mental health.
Long nights, early mornings, heavy drinking, a lot of alone time while every one else is at class, a sh*t ton of responsibilities you might not have previously had, more down time than you know what to do with... I could literally continue this list forever.
Plus, couple this with the ever growing landscape of social media where we are constantly comparing our lives to every one else's lives, or perceived lives, and it's just not a good combo at all.
It's like every day is another jab at your sanity and even after just a year or two you can be very lost and honestly pretty sad, at least that's where I found myself.
I took my happiness upon myself rather than trying to find it through other people, and I would love to help you start doing the same!
So, let's jump in and get you started.
Oh yeah, and welcome to the gym! MMNTM (/mo-men-tum/) is the first of its kind... a gym for your mind. From mental clarity, better problem solving, happiness and just a more positive mindset, think of each blog post as a "training' for your mind, much like at the gym. Plus, "workouts" are coming soon so stay tuned, that will be dope!
If you are new here or a returning member, thanks for the continued support! @yourmmntm on all social platforms if ya would like to follow!
Let's get to the post now.
What to Expect
First Off, The Key to Being Unhappy
Gotta understand both sides here.
I'm pretty sure this list could be different for every person, so I just wanted to touch on what I have experienced the most in my life as well as have witnessed throughout the years of interacting with our peers.
First off, I think one of the biggest reasons for unhappiness I have seen and personally experienced is when we put all our happiness in external things and especially in other people.
When you can't find happiness on your own and have to rely on your friends or significant others for your happiness, you are never really going to be happy.
Why? Because the amount of time in your life that you spend with yourself far out weighs the amount of time you spend with other people, just think about at work, studying, working out, in the mornings and evenings before bed, etc. If you can't find happiness within yourself, you are going to struggle deeply whether you want to admit it or not.
This is especially true in relationships when the two partners happiness relies solely on how well the relationship is going. Relationships are supposed to be about two people coming together to be "partners in crime," in a sense and teach and grow with each other.
When there are no factors of happiness outside of the relationship, then there is pressure that is put on each partner that doesn't need to be there. Happiness in a relationship is essential but it should not be solely on one partner to make the other happy.
Another major thing I see causing unhappiness is the amount time we are spending on social media comparing our lives to what we think others are living like. You do realize people only post what they want you to see on social media, right?
Finally, this last one might be a little confusing but I will explain it: people are unhappy when they are just doing the easy sh*t.
Just think about it, there is only so much Netflix you can watch before that really isn't making you happy anymore. That extra 3 hours just doesn't have the same impact on your happiness as the first hour, so you just keep watching more and more. But, with only so many waking hours in the day, you run out of hours.
Without the responsibility in your life yoiu have nothing that is challenging you and having those things that challenge you can actually make you much more happy.
Because when you start overcoming those challenges, you show yourself that you are capable of much more than you think, boosting that confidence and happiness.
What better time than in college and in our 20's to build that discipline to do the hard things too, because you likely have a ton of free time on your hands.
Why is Happiness Such A Problem in Our 20's?
It might just be the explosion of social media, but I'll let you decide that...
Well, yeah it's pretty much the rise of social media technology and the amount of time people are spending alone rather than with other people.
Yes, I know I said you do need to spend time alone and be happy even if you are alone but human interaction is essential to happiness, you can't argue that one it is just a fact. You need those close relationships in your life in order to be more happy and the rise of technology is trying to replace those human too human interactions. Whether we realize it or not, some of this convenience technology is actually impacting our happiness.
I also mentioned social media a little above but it is worth mentioning again as many of us spend hours a day on it looking at what every one else is doing and how their life is "so much better than ours."
Even though all you see is essentially the "highlights" of their life rather than actually how they are living. Even if we were seeing how they were living, who cares? It isn't your life and you could be working on doing similar things if you weren't spending all day on social media.
Speaking of spending all day on social media, imagine instead of spending all that time on social media, you take the time to do some hard stuff and work on your goals.
Everyone is trying to just get through classes, how about you actually take the time and discipline to learn something, weird thought but you are paying all that money so might as well!
A lot of the time I had found myself unhappy I had no discipline in my life and no goals I was going after. Trust me you can sacrifice those nights out at the bars for some REAL happiness, it's a good trade-off I promise.
What Most People Our Age Think Will Make Them Happy
...and why this is wrong.
Okay, I added this section just to talk about a major thing that I see as I go to a private school and many people put probably more emphasis on social status and material things than they probably should. Maybe that's different at your school, but this is what it is like at my school.
The amount of kids I see saving all their money to buy that Gucci belt or expensive shoes is actualluy insane. Either they are thinking that social status they get from having that item or that item itself will make them happy and they are very mistaken.
After doing the same thing and buying some nice items of clothing, backpacks and shoes, I realized that it just seems like another item after a while and you really don't care what brand it is.
And I can assure you that nobody else cares about the brand as much as you think they do.
So, save the money for yourself and use it to make real memories like taking a trip or having good experiences. The things will definitely not make you happy.
I'm not saying you can't buy these things, as I also enjoy a nice shoe still, I am just saying you should just see it as a shoe and not an end all be all to your happiness search.
Where Your Happiness Starts
Time for the good stuff!
I know I have already touched on the other few so I reserve this section solely to that first bullet point: Don't go chasing an end result.
(I will have a full blog post on this tomorrow so stay tuned for that as well:
While we jump into most things in life to solve a problem and get to an end result, whether that be to get back in shape, make more money, have a better relationship, etc., we can't focus on the end result being the only time we will be happy.
In reality, if we are really trying to find happiness we have to start finding it in the process rather than just the end result.
If you are only going to be happy when you are shredded and in shape from your workouts, then after four months and you aren't seeing the results you thought that you would, super fast, then you are going to get mad and likely stop working out as much thinking "it doesn't really matter."
When if you would just find happiness in showing up every day and putting in the work, you are going to stick to your goals and be much more happy as you are not reserving your happiness for after you get the result.
It's a win win as the odds are more in your favor of actually reaching your goal and you will be more happy.
So, How Do I Start Changing?
Sample workout time! If you are new here, a sample workout is where I show you how to apply some principles in a "workout" form to make it easy to start and understand!
Exercise #1: No Sugar or Alcohol This Week
Duration: 1 week
Why?: It is not easy to do this at this point in our lives and it is a great way to start doing the "hard sh*t" while also clearing brain fog.
Exercise #2: Get off Social Media for the first and last hours of the day.
Reps: Every day
Duration: At least a week
Why?: When you aren't reacting to others lives right away in the morning you start living your life more and more.
Exercise #3: Meditate
Reps: 2x per day (morning and evening)
Duration: 20 minutes
Why?: Always good to focus on meditation while searching for happiness, it will help you ground yourself and live more in the poresent rather than stressing over the future or regreting the past.
Exercise #4: Go outside
Reps: 1x per day
Duration: 1 hour
Why?: You really can't beat what going outside does for your mental health. Those UV rays are essential so get with it.
Thanks again for stopping by the blog, and look forward to seeing you back tomorrow for a great blog that I already hinted at. Stay tuned: www.yourmmntm.com/blog and @yourmmntm on social media.
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"Me and Kurt feel the same, too much pleasure is pain."