Why most of us seem to be coming to the wrong conclusions when it comes to our happiness...
"I'll Be Happy When..."
We have all had these few words stumble out of our mouth at some point or another, or maybe even on a consistent basis for a majority of us.
How do I know this? Because I am writing this article and you are reading this article. I didn't just start writing this randomly, I choose the topic based off of past struggles and experiences and you likely chose this article off of current struggles or experiences.
This is usually how our thinking goes when it comes to happiness in our lives, it's always second to something. Usually we think "I'll be happy when..."
"... I get the job."
"... I find a significant other."
"... I am out of college."
"... I take the trip I have always wanted to."
"... I retire from my job."
But, what if that "when" never comes?
Playing Life Based on End Results
It's a problem we all catch ourselves trapped in.
We, as a society as a whole, have trapped ourselves in this thinking that happiness is locked in the end results of achieving whatever goals we have set for ourselves.
Thinking that once we reach a goal we are going to be a little happier than we were before we reached that goal and most importantly, that we won't be happy until we do so.
If that is true then why are there so many celebrities, musicians and company leaders that are depressed? Why do we hear about the suicides of your favorite musicians or the drug problems they have or the problems of the people who movies you go to watch?
They are at the pinnacle of their life, yet they are still struggling with their happiness. This alone should be a good enough reason not to believe the lies that we grew up believing around happiness lying only in the end results.
Changing Up The Formula...
How do we need to start thinking?
We need to flip this script completely and start seeing happiness as a byproduct of what we are doing on a day to day basis and not as a byproduct of an end result.
Happiness should, and most likely will, come through the process of working towards a goal of yours and showing yourself the progress you are making, not just through when you reach a goal.
Happiness is a feeling you get when you start to challenge yourself a little more and persevere through the hard times to see what you are actually capable of.
Happiness comes from the discipline in your life that frees up more opportunities than just trying to find temporary happiness through a short beach vacation or a Netflix binge.
Happiness is showing yourself that you are enough and that you can reach those goals that you have set for yourself.
It is almost counterintuitive, but being happier doesn't come from going out to drink and party more, or watching more Netflix, it comes from doing the hard work that we seem to be pushing off almost every day.
One Essential Step to The Equation
1. What You Are Willing to Sacrifice For
The essential step to "enjoying the process," as one might say, is finding the things that you are willing to sacrifice for and finding happiness to be a byproduct of your work and discipline on those things.
We all have those things that we are interested in and would be willing to sacrifice time and money for, in order to get closer to what we have been visualizing our lives to be.
These are the things that we are willing to not go to the party for and that we are willing to get up early and work on.
If you are looking for happiness to be a byproduct of your work and discipline, you have to make sure you are working on something that you actually care about, not just some basic thing such as homework or what you are already doing at your 9-5 job.
Why This Can Work
Time to stop unsuccessfully trying to be happier on a day to day basis.
Even though it seems like happiness would come from more time relaxing on a beach or watching Netflix and scrolling through social media, where you don't have to think or stress yourself out, that actually is not the case at all.
Honestly, you can only be so happy sitting on a beach all day drinking or watching Netflix, sooner or later the return on happiness starts going down because you just get used to doing those things. I realized this during my month long break during college, I thought it was going to be the best thing ever but honestly I was just getting sick of Netflix and kind of wished I had homework or something to challenge myself.
Our minds want to be challenged, and when we start doing so then we can start to find happiness, it isn't the other way around.
When we start to build discipline and challenge ourselves, we start conquering the one thing that holds almost all of us back... the fear that we aren't "enough."
There always seems to be someone that is better than us at ______ and we never give ourselves enough credit. When we start to actually show ourselves that we are "enough" and are capable of more than we originally thought, this does wonders for our mindset and happiness.
Don't beleive me? The only way to know is to actually try.
Your Happiness Gym
Here's a little workout for your mind.
Exercise #1: Read
Duration: 1 Hour
Notes: Start pushing yourself intellectually, can't get closer to your goals unless you learn about all the things you currently aren't as informed on.
Exercise #2: Hit the Gym or Take a Walk
Duration: 1 Hour
Notes: Break a sweat, do those extra reps and start really pushing yourself. Don't just show up, you become happier through the hard work, not taking the easy way out.
Exercise #3: Stay off Your Phone
Reps: 2x per day
Duration: 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour at night
Notes: Get the momentum for the day started on the right note, not allowing others to dictate your day. Same goes for the last hour, plus it will help you sleep better.
Exercise #4: Do Something You Care About
Duration: 1-2 hours a day
Notes: Learn that instrument, start a blog, start writing music, start that social media page, start that business... you know what you want to do so why haven't you been doing it?
Just like that another day on the blog is in the books! Thanks for all the support and if you enjoyed this or learned anything I just ask one thing: bring a friend back tomorrow! Time to make personal development more "normal" because it is at the foundation of every area of our lives. Stop back with a friend tomorrow-- yourmmntm.com/blog
Your Mindset Is A Fascinating Place, Don't Let The Learning Stop Here...