Unhappiness can almost always be traced back to this one thing and you might not want to hear what it is...
We all ride the wave of emotions in life, never feeling like you are on top of the world forever and never feeling like you are nothing forever.
We surf this wave of emotions, from happy to sad, throughout the years, all experiencing our happiness a little different.
Some of our waves are longer than others, some of us have trouble riding those waves, some of us have higher highs and some of us have lower lows.
That's just life, we aren't always going to be happy and you have to embrace that because then when we are happy it is a much stronger feeling as we know what the opposite feels like.
These next few minutes I am going to share with you one of the things that has helped me ride this wave of life more smoothly and help you "paddle" towards some more happiness, if you are on more of an unhappy wave of emotions at the moment.
Oh sh*t almost forgot, thanks for stopping by MMNTM (mo-men-tum) where my goal is to help you guys level up your mind and mindset with effective workouts. Much like you would train your body, this is the gym for your mindset, everything from your happiness and mental clarity to focus and productivity. These are the things that have helped me the most and I love sharing them with you daily on yourmmntm.com/blog so be sure to pop out daily!
And now back to what you came here for.
What to Look Forward to in This Blog
The Root of Your Unhappiness
I'll just make this nice and easy, jumping right into what this blog is about...
Well, while the list can be a different combination for everyone, from where you are living to your family and even just the habits that you subconsciously go through on a day to day basis, there is one thing that almost always tops everyone's list of reasons why they are unhappy.
And most of us don't even realize this is making us unhappy because we use it almost as an escape from reality, thinking that it makes us even more happy.
What is it?
Your phone. iPhone, Android, whatever phone you might have the make and model doesn't matter. What matters is the way we are interacting with our phones and what that is doing to our mindsets and happiness without us knowing.
Literally from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep we are almost always constantly on our phone throughout the day and never really living our own lives. Instead, constantly worrying about and seeing what everyone else is doing.
How about we live our own lives a little more? Sounds like a brilliant idea to me.
Why We Are Addicted to This
Easy entertainment, a nice distraction from real work, quick hits of dopamine.
We might think that our phones are a source of distraction from the real world to get our minds off of our problems and unhappiness and while them being a distraction is true, they don't get our minds off of our problems and mood as much as one might think.
Actually, they are creating another source for our minds to find negative and unhappy things. That is when we don't use phones how they were meant to be used, which I'll talk about here later.
When we really don't feel like doing work, we pick up our phones. When we are feeling sad or depressed, we pick up our phones. We are constantly picking up our phones in order to escape the real world when in reality this is just making it worse.
It is training our minds to worry about what other people are doing on social media, more than solving the problems that we have in our lives, that will actually help us live better lives if they were solved.
Also, while that quick hit of dopamine might feel good when you are on the app, the things that you see while using social media and your phone usually leave you comparing your life to the lives of others, which leaves you more depressed and unhappy as you see that you don't have as much as they do.
Your phone is essentially a drug, it pulls you away from your real productive life, where you could find real happiness, and leaves you with quick and easy hits of dopamine that make you feel good in the short term.
Then, you look back in a few years and wonder why you aren't where you thought you would be, causing you even more unhappiness in the long run.
What Does This Impact In Your Life?
Way too many things to justify the amount of time we spend on our phone.
Let me just start off with the obvious, when you spend too much time on your phone, outside of the real world you not only kill your productivity, but you also never really live in the presence of your own life.
A major source of happiness is realizing and accepting your presence while being hopeful about the future. When we can't be present, we end up holding onto our past and stressing about our future, causing its to be very anxious and even unhappy.
Also, while you are constantly looking to social media, rather than your own life and interests, for pleasure then you are just constantly going to be exposed to the lives of others, even your friends, who you may think have it better than you.
When in reality, they are just showing a small clip of their lives yet it feels like all they are doing because you are constantly seeing it on social media for hours a day.
You too could be going places and creating things that you see on social media if you were to actually get off of social media and live your life.
Finally, when you are waking up and going to bed with your phone in your hand, doing everything from responding to texts to checking emails, you are training your brain.
But, this time it is not the type of brain training that you want to be doing.
Instead, you are training your brain to focus and respond to life as it happens to you rather than taking control and doing what will propel your life to where you want it to be and what you want it to look like.
Time to Challenge Yourself
Just that daily mind workout at the end of the blog, ya know :)
For all of you new to the MMNTM blog, this is the part of the blog where I give you workouts for your mind that are usually simple to execute on so that you can put to use what you just learned, only on yourmmntm.com!
Exercise #1: Don't touch your phone
Reps: 2x per day
Duration: 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour at night, right when you wake up and right before bed.
Exercise #2: When you go out with friends, put your phones on the table.
Duration: However long you are at dinner.
Exercise #3: While working on something, in school or at work, don't touch your phone.
Duration: Until you finish the task at hand.
Exercise #4: When you have random free time, try a book, podcast, walk, etc just don't pick up your phone.
Reps: Throughout the day
Duration: Whenever you have free time.
Why?: Because every time you have a gap of space and you pick up your phone to use social media, you are training yourself to prioritize social media over other small things you need to/ could be getting done.
Exercise #5: Be fully present. Whether that be while you are reading, in class, playing a sport with friends, in a meetings etc.
Reps: Whenever you need to during the day.
Duration: For however long the activity or task is.
Exercise #6: Leave your phone at home on your run, walk or at the gym.
Reps: 3x per week
Duration: As long as workout or run/ walk takes.
Why?: Sometimes you need to let your mind wander and think through problems without being tempted by distractions. Plus, when doing this during a workout, the active side of your brain is essentially on autopilot so it is easy to think about thinks.
Thanks for stopping out again and I look forward to seeing you back on the blog tomorrow at yourmmntm.com/blog and if you enjoyed this, all I ask is to share it with a handful of friends as your "entrance fee" to the gym!
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