How much time are you really investing in yourself outside of school?
When we picture our 20's we think about crazy college parties, a ton of friends, relationships and "finally getting older."
Heck, we might even think about businesses we want to start, how we want our careers to look and where we want to travel to, I know I definitely have been using my 20's to knock some things off the ole bucket list.
But then there is something that nobody really talks about, the amount of alone time and down time that we have in our 20's compared to previous years of our lives.
Unlike the previous years of school and life, when we get into college and our 20's the days have less structure and we have more responsibility to structure our days effectively in order to reach our goals in life, relationships, school and work.
This is not easy though because when our days have been structured for us for so long, a lot of people don't really know how to effectively go about their days on their own.
So, we do what every other normal kid would do, especially in college, we hang out with friends every opportunity we get that we are not in class.
We do this first off, because it is enjoyable but also because a lot of us are not really comfortable being alone or we feel like we are missing out on something when we are not with people constantly.
Not being comfortable to spend time with ourselves on a day to day basis can be detrimental to our growth as a person and in our career because as we get older the time we have with ourselves is going to be the most important time in our day.
It's about time we figured out how to master and more importantly be comfortable with time alone.
Oh sh*t almost forgot, thanks for stopping by MMNTM (mo-men-tum) where my goal is to help you guys level up your mind and mindset with effective workouts. Much like you would train your body, this is the gym for your mindset, everything from your happiness and mental clarity to focus and productivity. These are the things that have helped me the most and I love sharing them with you daily on yourmmntm.com/blog so be sure to pop out daily!
And now back to what you came here for.
What to Look Forward to In This Post
What Everyone Thinks Their 20's is About
It's a common belief so I don't blame you if you relate to this.
For most people college can be summed up in a few statements.
They go out to party multiple times per week, are always with their friends whether it be eating food, at the gym or even studying and they really don't make time for themselves.
Even though the time we have alone, in college especially, is plentiful, a lot of people waste it on Netflix and sleeping because they aren't comfortable with the thought of doing things alone.
Want to know what this does though?
It leaves our minds to rely solely on other people for our happiness and we are never happy with just our own company.
Because we are never doing the things that help us find discipline and happiness on our own, rather we are only relying on when we are with others to be happy and looking forward to those times during the day rather than loving the moment you are in, experiencing life for yourself.
What if those friends leave then or they get busy in relationships or college ends and you aren't with them nearly as much? You are going to struggle to find happiness because you never took the time to start loving the moment you are in and being happy with your own company.
The Other Side of Your 20's
What the real focus should be with this great amount of extra time.
How about we flip all of that extra time around in our 20's and make something out of it, sounds like a solid idea, right?
This is the best time to learn the skill of enjoying and getting the most out of your time alone because we have the least amount off responsibilities and the most amount of time.
As a whole, we are not yet juggling work, family, investments, relationships and kids yet and we essentially have no major responsibilities compared to what we will have as we get older. So, what better time to work on this skill than when we have the most time to do so?
That way when you do start having to juggle these things and have less time on your own, you will be able to maximize the time that you do have on your own in order to continue your personal growth throughout the duration of your life.
Welcome to the journey to the "other side of your 20's."
This is where we start to focus more on our own lives, advancing what we are interested in and getting more in touch with who we really are so that we can start working on learning new skills or developing new traits.
We need to be constantly developing and learning on our lives in order to not plateau in whatever we are doing, so what better time to do that than right now.
The problem with improving ourselves as a person is that we really never have taken inventory of what we do and think about on a consistent basis to have anywhere to even start and that is about to change once you start the training that I have below, so don't worry.
The other huge part about maximizing our time alone is that we dan actually find ways to let go of all that stress in our lives and enjoy the present moment more and more, just start enjoying life because it is actually f**king amazing.
When we are constantly with other people, we never have the time to "off load" and just enjoy the moment we are in. I used to constantly be stressed about the future and regret the past, it's time to look past that and start loving the moment you are in so you can maximize your time here.
All of this starts with crafting out more time for yourself.
The Hard Part About Spending More Time With Yourself
And why this is an essential skill...
Honestly, this is kind of hard as f**k.
Because at this age we are constantly getting asked to do things, go get food with people, hang out with people and just be with your friends as much as you can.
And it is hard to say "no" usually because you don't want anyone to get mad or stop being friends with you.
You have to start saying "no" to somethings over the course of each week so that you can find time to work on yourself. Don't totally cut out your relationships because you will not be happy when you do that either, but rather try to spend at least a handful of days during the week with yourself and enjoying your own company and thoughts.
Now to the real hard thing about enjoying your own company, yes harder than saying "no" to your friends...
Saying no to technology during the time you are spending working on yourself.
It might sound easy but when you are reading or even taking a walk and start wondering what other people are up to, it will be very tempting to whip out that phone and check.
This is exactly what you don't want to do though because it will one, build mental discipline ( a new skill for you) and also, a key part to enjoying time to yourself is to live in the moment and enjoy your own thoughts which is very hard when all you do when you are alone is scroll through Instagram.
It is time to take control of your life again and actually start living.
How Spending More Time With Yourself Will Impact Other Areas of Your Life
Your inner talk and relationship with yourself is the foundation to all areas of life.
Enjoying the time you have on your own and maximizing it in order to grow as a person will help almost every other area of your life as well.
The habits you will create through spending more time with yourself can first off, help you get your fitness in check as a great way top enjoy time alone is to walk and go to the gym, two essential parts to your daily routine that you might not have yet.
Also, when you grow as a person you can bring this "new you" into your future or current relationships wiht your significant other. You will find that you are more confident, can love deeper and when you aren't reliant on that one person for your happiness, as you are happy with the time you have alone now as well, you enjoy all aspects of your life more.
I am not saying that you should not be happy with your significant other, just that they shouldn't be the only source of your happiness because if they are you will likely hold onto relationships that need to be ended in order to save yourself from unhappiness.
Finally, when we are happier and growing as a person our work is going to reflect that. We are going to be making better work, more work that we care about and just have a better mindset around work because we have that solid relationship with ourselves now.
Your Weekly Workout to Help Maximize Your Time With Yourself
You already know I got you with actionable advice at the end. Thanks for making it this far!
For all of you new to the MMNTM blog, this is the part of the blog where I give you workouts for your mind that are usually simple to execute on so that you can put to use what you just learned, only on yourmmntm.com!
Exercise #1: Walk and listen to a podcast you haven't listened to before
Reps: 1x per day
Duration: 1 hour
Why?: What better way to get outside and learn to love your surroundings and learn something new at the same time to push your knowledge.
Exercise #2: Cold Shower
Reps: 1x per day
Duration 3 minutes
Why?: Start being comfortable making yourself uncomfortable, building that confidence.
Exercise #3: Hit the gym
Reps: 1x per day
Duration: 45 minutes
Why?: Other than the obvious benefits related to health, you will start to build more mental toughness as you are forcing yourself to do something hard each day.
Exercise #4: Do Something New
Reps: 1x per day
Duration: 30 minutes per day
Why?: Have to learn to break those patterns you have created in your every day life. Push yourself to learn and do something new and you will build new skills and just a new mindset around growth.
Exercise #5: Meditate
Reps: 2x per day
Duration: 10-20 minutes each rep
Why?: Hands down, this has worked the best for me in order to start living in the moment and stay focused on my own life rather than what other people are doing.
Exercise #6: Learn or take action based around your goals
Example: Anything from just reading about your industry to taking action and starting to solve problems in your industry or even start a blog or social media account around your interests. This is the time to do what you have wanted to do but always just pushed it off.
Reps: 1x per day
And just like that another day in the gym at yourmmntm.com/blog has come to an end. Thanks again for stopping out and I look forward to seeing you all again tomorrow.
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