Why Some People Are So Likable and How You Can Learn From Them

Essential to developing personal and professional relationships.

Image: LadBible

The High School Example

A look at why some people were actually so popular in high school.

Before you skip this section, no it is not what you think the answer is... It is not because they were in sports, are more attractive or are more confident than others.

Crazy, right? That's exactly why I thought the most popular kids were the way they were, until I started to dive a little deeper.

Now that what you thought was for sure the answer is off of the table, what could it possibly be?

This might surprise you, depending on the experience that you had in high school, but they were simply just more interested in other people than others were.

They were interested in what was going on in others' lives and kept up to date and supported whatever they were doing.

Unlike a lot of the people who claimed they were "no popular" and proceeded to go throughout their day not talking to anyone because they either didn't think they fit in or they didn't have the confidence to talk to anyone.

And what does not talking to people lead to? A lack of interest in their lives.

So, sorry to break the stereotype in high school or even college, but if you want to be more likable, you have to start taking a genuine interest in other people's lives.

Be interested to be interesting...

What Being Interested in Others Means

This has to be genuine, plain and simple.

What exactly does being interested in others mean?

Well, pretty much exactly what you can assume it means. It means keeping up with what is going on in their life, what they are working on, what their point of view on topics is and supporting whatever they choose to take on.
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This is absolutely essential to form relationships and if you are struggling to form any meaningful relationships, I would venture to guess that this is part of the problem.

Just take the example of sales people trying to keep an existing client, they have to keep constantly calling the same clients and checking in on their personal lives, wishing them a happy holidays and seeing how their kids are doing.

This builds trust for the continued relationship in the business, making sure the client wants to keep doing business with them, and it is a dang effective strategy.

Or even take a simpler example of going on a date, you can't just show up to a date and talk about yourself, you have to ask them questions and take an interest in what they are doing.

A date is not a time to "flex" what you are doing or have done in your life, it is a time to build a genuine connection and you do so through asking questions and being interested in them.

​If that is new advice to you, that might be the problem in your dating life.

And how exactly does this get people to like you more?

Who doesn't like talking about themselves? Nobody, it is the topic that we all could go on and on about.

From where we are from, to what we are working on and what our goals are, it is at the top of the list of our favorite topic to talk about.

When you keep asking them questions about themselves, and then following up with questions to their responses, you start to dive really deep into the thoughts and beliefs of someone and there is no better way  to connect with them.

You get out of the "surface level" conversations faster and into the more meaningful conversations that you both will remember.

Even if you don't say much about yourself during the time with them, they will feel as if you have created a meaningful relationship because of the conversation you were able to have.

What Being Interested is Going to Add to Your Life

So much more than you think.

With the importance of relationships being so prevalent in our lives, it is no surprise that this will impact many areas of your life.

Relationships help to motivate us, bring us happiness and fulfillment and help us reach those goals better than we would have been able to otherwise, and the main benefit of being interested in others is the stronger relationships you are going to be able to form.

From work relationships to romantic relationships, you are going to build more trust in these people and have them enjoy the time they spend around you more, helping your personal and professional lives.

This is also going to attract many more people into your life, some that you might "mesh well with." You really never know when you are going to meet that person that has a dramatic impact on your life, and connecting with more people, on more than just the surface level, is exactly how to find those people.

It isn't just about stronger relationships though, when you take up an interest in other people's lives, you start to gain a wider knowledge base in return.

I mean, how can you not? Diving deep into topics that people care about, you are going to know and understand so much more than you did before and this can start to open up new opportunities as well.

Realize that everyone has something to teach you no matter who they are or what their background may be.

Finally, you can start to understand people better, understand how they think and act and why they are thinking the way that they are. You can start to notice patterns in thinking of similar types of people and even just understand the person you are attracted to better in order to figure out how to improve the relationship.

This one simple mindset "hack" can help you in so many more ways than you think, I would highly suggest picking it up if you haven't been convinced already.

Training Yourself to Be More Interested by: MMNTM, the Gym for Your Mind

As always, a little workout to end the blog.

I don't like to leave you hanging without some ways to actually become more interested in life, so you can actually start seeing the benefits instead of just reading about them. So, here are some quick exercises to help you get more interested and start being more interested in other people...

First, simply start off with being more interested in your own life. Figure out a handful of topics that you are interested in and start to pick up some books, listen to some podcasts and just start learning more about these topics.

When you start to learn more about what you care about, you are going to start breaking down the topic more and realize what you need to learn about. Before you do so it's simple to say "oh I need to learn about marketing," until you actually jump in and realize there are a million subsets to learn about as well.

This naturally makes you more interested and this can carry over to becoming interested in other people because you realize that everyone has something to teach you (even if it just is what not to do).

Finally, when you are talking to people, just start asking more questions and talking less. This will seem weird at first but you will see how you can dive into deeper conversations by doing so, just don't keep asking basic questions like "where are you from."

I'm not saying to never talk about yourself or bring up your opinion, just ask more questions than you do talk about yourself. This is going to lead to a great conversation, I can almost guarantee that.

Just like that another day on the blog is in the books! Thanks for all the support and if you enjoyed this or learned anything I just ask one thing: bring a friend back tomorrow! Time to make personal development more "normal" because it is at the foundation of every area of our lives. Stop back with a friend tomorrow-- yourmmntm.com/blog

-Taylor

The Training Shouldn't Stop There, Here Are More Solid Resources:

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The Best Skills to Learn in Today's "Tech Era" >>

Today's "Mind Hack" to Improve BOTH the Quality and the Quantity of Your Work >>